10 Things to Look for in Getting “Set Up”

Before we get into the heart of  the matter, I am introducing a new category for the blog called “Georgie’s Weekly Top 10″. It’s going to be about 10 thoughts about a certain topic that I will post weekly and share with you all. This inaugural edition is about 10 things to look for when getting set up by friends.

As some of us have had happen, we’ve been set up on dates by friends.  Some successful and some not so successful. Either way, there is a learning experience somewhere down the line.  I have found with these 10 points, I have found I am more on the success side of getting set up more often than not.

1. Blank Canvas I find this is the best way to go into the date itself is to not go into with too much of what your friend(s) have told you. Take the information that’s been given and scale it down. Remember how friends like to ‘build up’ and even ‘embellish’ the potential candidate.  It will veer to enjoying getting to know the person more if you leave the date to paint their own picture with you, opposed to going on a ‘paint by numbers’ picture that your friend has given.
2. Character Witness The friend or friends that are introducing you to this person have a lot to do with if you should take this set up a little more seriously or not.  For me, if the ‘informant’ for lack of a better term, needs to be a person who knows a little about successful relationships. Is this person who is doing the set up married/in a relationship and happy? Or are they that perennial single friend amongst your group of friends? Although one shouldn’t completely rule out suggestions from their single friend, is it really all that wise to take a set up seriously from someone who hasn’t exactly had a great relationship track record?
3. Introduction and Facilitation Remember, your friend gave you the introduction. It does not mean he or she is supposed assist on the date or help carry on a possible relationship.  Remember ‘Three is a crowd’. Look at your friend as somewhat of a free dating service. With a dating service, you don’t get to call them and bitch and yell if things don’t go right on the date. So why put that burden on your friend. It will just strain your friendship and have the possibility of that friend to cross you off his/her list of ‘datable friends’.
4. It’s a Set-up: Get Over It! Yes, exactly what that says. Once you’re on that date, please get over the fact that you’ve been set up. I don’t understand the people who just can’t get over that a friend set them up on a date. So what?  Worst thing that can happen is that you have a bad date story to share with your friends, online or where ever.  Most likely, you’ll have a good time and either find a new friend or head out on a few more dates. Best case scenario, you could build upon this and find a relationship blooming.
5. No Second Chances for a First Impression Truer words there are not than the aforementioned. So in getting ready for your set up or blind date. Dress appropriately. This is not the time to feel ‘comfortable’ in sweats or overdress for the occasion. Keep it clean and informally dressy. It shows you take the time to take care of yourself and have taken the time and respect to be well groomed for your date.
6. Conversation: Paperweight not Anvil For conversation on the date, try to keep things light. Ask open ended questions to keep the conversation flowing . Getting too many ‘yes and no’ questions in the mix will have you finding yourself with a few possible uncomfortable silent moments. Also stay away from ‘touchy’ topics such as religion, politics, past relationships etc etc.  You are just getting to know the other person, and if you want to possibly see the potential of Date #2 and so on, it would be more prudent to just keep it fun and light.
7. Managing Expectations This is a dating opportunity. This means, you don’t have to get married, you don’t have to keep dating if it is not working and it certainly does not mean you must sleep with the person. It simply means if you find some common ground, you can take it from there and see where it goes.  The biggest problem is at times we expect too much from dates, and especially ones that our friends think we should go on.  Know what you’re comfortable with and stick to it.
8. Stay Positive Set-ups more often than not tend to have a negative connotation in the minds of many. If you go into the date with a negative mindset, most likely you’ll have a negative experience.  If you’re overly critical throughout the date (mentally and openly) you will more inclined to have negative thoughts about any aspect of the date.
9. K.I.S.S Keep it short and sweet. Don’t prolong the date to an uncomfortable length of time. Save something for the next date or keep what you don’t want him or her to know about you if the date did not go well.
10. Have Fun This might sound funny but unfortunately I know people who go on dates like going to a routine doctor’s check up. No one is holding a gun to your head (hopefully), so why make yourself feel like it’s a chore. We have enough of those to do around our homes, let’s not bring them out on our dates.

Advertisement