Now, that being said, I tried to date a 40-something man once.  He was definitely different and somewhat a bohemian at heart. He tended to be ‘set in his ways’ and felt I needed mentoring in life, although I was only 11 years his junior. He also was at a point in his life where he still looking for his path. Although I try not to judge another person’s path in life, I also wonder as to why by a certain age, a person is so ‘far behind’ in the game.

So what makes a 40 something year old man act like a frat boy? I can think of a few scenarios but I’ll share some of the ones in which I have interacted with  specific case studies and as the blog states, were examples in my life and in my times.

It’s the good ole “Mid-Life Crisis” that has manifested into different things and roots from different circumstances in life.

From Geek to “Chic”

Do you have that friend that isn’t overly attractive and rather ‘inexperienced’ with his interactions with women? He is always the friend that is usually perennially single? I am sure we all have that friend. In fact, I will guarantee you, we all have someone in our group that fits this mold. I know I have a friend or two that fit this description.

For example, my friend Thomas is a man in and around his early 40′s who is out there looking for love. He has told me time and time again he wants a wife, a family and the whole Beaver Cleaver experience. Yet, as he says all this to me, I see him running around with women you usually don’t bring home to momma. In fact, I’ll say this Thomas has a more ‘dark and deviant’ side of him. Not dark in a serial killer type of way, but he has his vices and I’ll leave it at that.

Now Thomas was never dated in high school and when he hit university, he got into a relationship and promptly asked that girl to be his wife. She said, “Yes” and Thomas was thrilled. Problem with being engaged while in university, you are still discovering yourself and Thomas’ fiancee ended up breaking it off with Thomas.  This happened 20 years ago.

Since then, Thomas has yet to marry, found a woman to love him back for who he is and had very few women that garnered the title of ‘girlfriend’.  Thomas also didn’t help his cause by never taking care of his appearance. He dressed in out of style, ill-fitting clothing. He never was really much into minding his weight and at times, the way he carried himself was defeatist.

In recent months, Thomas has discovered that he enjoys the things we all used to do when we were younger and still in party mode. Things that Thomas missed out on either from self-induced morals or simply he didn’t know any better. Thomas is trying and enjoying illicit drugs for the first time in his life, partying with attractive women and just going out and painting the town red.  For the most part I see this fun in being harmless, but at the same time, I worry about Thomas and his excessive lifestyle.  Here’s why. When I was going through the ‘party excess’ phrase, I first had experience with it in my teens.  I also had experience in my 20′s and into my early 30′s.  I feel Thomas is doing this to be accepted. It’s sad but true. Thomas has hit adolescence in his mid-life.

The Cool Frat Boy

Ah Frank… Frank was one of my good long time friends, and I ended up becoming his lover.  There were many parallels in mine and Frank’s lives. We were both single parents of children in and around the same age. We both had similar interests and we both were in the dating scene when our children were considerably younger.  At times in my life, I felt that Frank was my soul mate. Not the “OMG I am so in love with you” type of soul mate but someone I could always talk to, about anything and for a long time he was, and I was that to him.

As I have found out, things change when you start to discover things that aren’t ‘right’ with each other. Frank already distrusted most women. He has been battling with his (ex)wife for the last 11 years about custody of their child and divisible assets in their marriage. So he thinks (and has spoken to me when we were ‘just friends’) that women are out to screw him. During those 11  years, Frank has lost a lot of material belongs to fund his divorce lawyers, court fees among other expenses. It has drained him so much, he has no property, assets, investments to his name and Frank is now 45.

Frank was very young at heart and liked a lot of the things people in my generation liked and I had a bit of an old soul, so I liked a lot of things of the cultures of his generation. Frank was also very set in his ways, and it took a bit of him adjusting to implementing me in his life that it bothered him and although he initiated all the ‘let’s move in together’ and what not, he also was the one that backed out.  Which was fine, but he backed out in the most cowardly way.  He apparently was ‘spying’ on my and asking about things in my past and friends in my present.

And that’s when he left me on a cold dark night to find my own way back to my home as he told me told he couldn’t trust me and that I needed to just keep away from him. So I did. He also proceeded to contact our mutual friends and tell them an elaborate and far-fetched story about me. Although my friends started to step up to the plate for me and give me some ‘character back up’, he refused to listen to them and his mind was made up.  I was a deceitful to him and he also felt I was ‘deranged’. He did manage to convince his friends of this, but then again, they are his friends. I don’t think he successfully convinced the mutual friends and definitely didn’t convince any of my friends of his ‘findings.’

A couple of months down the road, a detective friend gave me some very interesting information on Frank: I found out that Frank had a criminal record, although a conditional discharge, of embezzling funds from a society to fund his divorce proceedings. I also found out he hasn’t owned a vehicle for 15 years and the vehicle he was driving was given to him by a former flame that recently moved back to her country of origin.  His freelance work was good to keep his basics covered in life but I also found he owed money to many people around the neighbourhood he lived in for times to go out to the bar and have a good time. Although for most of his debts he made good, I was baffled at the amount of times he would ask friends for a loan.

Frank loved being that ‘cool’ guy, and he did it like he was 20 all over again. Frank was still financially irresponsible, the life of the party and got by through any means necessary. Not exactly the stability of a man in his mid 40′s.

Conclusion

The differences between Thomas and Frank were that Thomas was the guy that never did those things and is now discovering his youth. Frank is the guy that refuses to grow up and take control of his responsibilities. Frank is the aging hipster that can’t and won’t let go of his youth, no matter how silly it looks on him. Thomas is crying out for some sort of attention and acceptance.

Despite their differences, Thomas and Frank wanted to be youthful, accepted by younger women and men, and feel that can not get in the mold in which society has them embedded.  Although I agree at times 40 is the new 20, I also believe that finding a balance of the reality of your age and the youthful spirit of your soul. They can co-exist and it would make the man just that, a man, not a middle aged frat boy.

As some of us have had happen, we’ve been set up on dates by friends.  Some successful and some not so successful. Either way, there is a learning experience somewhere down the line.  I have found with these 10 points, I have found I am more on the success side of getting set up more often than not.

1. Blank Canvas I find this is the best way to go into the date itself is to not go into with too much of what your friend(s) have told you. Take the information that’s been given and scale it down. Remember how friends like to ‘build up’ and even ‘embellish’ the potential candidate.  It will veer to enjoying getting to know the person more if you leave the date to paint their own picture with you, opposed to going on a ‘paint by numbers’ picture that your friend has given.
2. Character Witness The friend or friends that are introducing you to this person have a lot to do with if you should take this set up a little more seriously or not.  For me, if the ‘informant’ for lack of a better term, needs to be a person who knows a little about successful relationships. Is this person who is doing the set up married/in a relationship and happy? Or are they that perennial single friend amongst your group of friends? Although one shouldn’t completely rule out suggestions from their single friend, is it really all that wise to take a set up seriously from someone who hasn’t exactly had a great relationship track record?
3. Introduction and Facilitation Remember, your friend gave you the introduction. It does not mean he or she is supposed assist on the date or help carry on a possible relationship.  Remember ‘Three is a crowd’. Look at your friend as somewhat of a free dating service. With a dating service, you don’t get to call them and bitch and yell if things don’t go right on the date. So why put that burden on your friend. It will just strain your friendship and have the possibility of that friend to cross you off his/her list of ‘datable friends’.
4. It’s a Set-up: Get Over It! Yes, exactly what that says. Once you’re on that date, please get over the fact that you’ve been set up. I don’t understand the people who just can’t get over that a friend set them up on a date. So what?  Worst thing that can happen is that you have a bad date story to share with your friends, online or where ever.  Most likely, you’ll have a good time and either find a new friend or head out on a few more dates. Best case scenario, you could build upon this and find a relationship blooming.
5. No Second Chances for a First Impression Truer words there are not than the aforementioned. So in getting ready for your set up or blind date. Dress appropriately. This is not the time to feel ‘comfortable’ in sweats or overdress for the occasion. Keep it clean and informally dressy. It shows you take the time to take care of yourself and have taken the time and respect to be well groomed for your date.
6. Conversation: Paperweight not Anvil For conversation on the date, try to keep things light. Ask open ended questions to keep the conversation flowing . Getting too many ‘yes and no’ questions in the mix will have you finding yourself with a few possible uncomfortable silent moments. Also stay away from ‘touchy’ topics such as religion, politics, past relationships etc etc.  You are just getting to know the other person, and if you want to possibly see the potential of Date #2 and so on, it would be more prudent to just keep it fun and light.
7. Managing Expectations This is a dating opportunity. This means, you don’t have to get married, you don’t have to keep dating if it is not working and it certainly does not mean you must sleep with the person. It simply means if you find some common ground, you can take it from there and see where it goes.  The biggest problem is at times we expect too much from dates, and especially ones that our friends think we should go on.  Know what you’re comfortable with and stick to it.
8. Stay Positive Set-ups more often than not tend to have a negative connotation in the minds of many. If you go into the date with a negative mindset, most likely you’ll have a negative experience.  If you’re overly critical throughout the date (mentally and openly) you will more inclined to have negative thoughts about any aspect of the date.
9. K.I.S.S Keep it short and sweet. Don’t prolong the date to an uncomfortable length of time. Save something for the next date or keep what you don’t want him or her to know about you if the date did not go well.
10. Have Fun This might sound funny but unfortunately I know people who go on dates like going to a routine doctor’s check up. No one is holding a gun to your head (hopefully), so why make yourself feel like it’s a chore. We have enough of those to do around our homes, let’s not bring them out on our dates.

I glance in me
I glance more in she
Naked

I feel within
I feel all my sin
Naked

I want to show
I want me to know
Naked

I look and find
I look into my mind
Naked.

I have encountered a few couples over the last four months going through some trials and tribulations in their relationships. Some have similar situations, some more unique, but regardless, the issues all of them had, were to be addressed and not ignored.

Let’s take Allen, for example, remember him? Allen had an issue with me and with his wife, Salina.  Let’s break down Allen’s situations. With Salina, he had the issues of infidelity, deceit and an obvious lack of respect. Whether it comes from both side of the fence, or just his, there was not enough respect there to garner the trust of each other and these things have happened in their marriage.

However I have learned over the years, a single formula for love wasn’t always the best solution every couple. There are different foundations and different layouts, so therefore, different types of renovations. Although there are different approaches and not everyone starts fixing their problems from the foundation of their relationships, the common consensus is that everyone wants to find a solution. 

How does a couple move forward from something like infidelity and deceit? Only each couple can make their own paths to their roads to recovery. All everyone needs to know are they had to be willing to make the necessary steps to come to some common ground. It does not always mean each couple will live happily ever after, it’s a rarity these days to be quite honest, but what each couple is looking for is form of closure. An event or idea to put the issue, or the relationship to rest would substantiate the aforementioned questions.

From what I have gathered as well, simple solutions usually stem from simple methods. Why complicate things? It’s already the reason so many people are in the pickles they so chose for each other.

Just a few thoughts for the day. It’s been a while. I have recently been on the road for my work and it’s been very difficult to find the time to “beautify’ myself, let alone blog weekly. I promise to make more time to do more than just work.

Stay true to you!

Georgie English

Georgie_english@myself.com

If you are in one of these relationships, as difficult as it may seem to leave it, and you’re finding ways to justify it, I highly recommend you seek for help to cope with it. I suggest you find an out and as soon as you can, especially if there are children involved.

I was in an extremely abusive relationship. I was mentally broken down, physically hurt and emotionally drained. I was in that sort of relationship I swore to myself that I would never be a part of ever. Unfortunately for me, I was in it and it took me a long time to escape. I use the term escape because that’s what I had to do to get myself out of such a destructive pattern. I also had a child to worry about, which made the situation worse than it would have been had I been childless. What was harder than ‘escaping’ the situation was the recovery process from the scars of it.

This happened to me almost ten years ago. I met Victor in college. It was an odd way to meet because I was an introverted college student. I didn’t focus too much on the social aspect of school what so ever, I was there to get an education. I spent much of my time in the libraries, great halls, and computing labs of the campus. This was a time when laptops weren’t mainstream and hard to come by. Computer labs were the places I finished ” my next essay”.

This is where I met Victor. I sat down next to him in the computer lab trying to get started on one of these essays. He was finishing one off. He seemed harmless and unassuming. He kept talking to me asking me what I was doing on the computer. I was surfing the net for research materials. Curious as to my “good knowledge” and use of the internet (remember the internet just became mainstream about a year prior to this) I told I used to work for a place that used the internet and FTP sites frequently so I got to know how to use it well and efficiently. He looked a impressed and annoyed at the same time. I wasn’t sure as to why, but he did. It was after all, just a computer.

As he finished his essay, he was making me laugh and trying to charm me. When he was all done, he literally pulled me out of my chair and insisted I had some tea with him. I wasn’t even given the choice to say no, he was literally pulling me out of my chair. So I obliged. In a way it was charming and but at the same time, I was a bit annoyed that he didn’t respect what I was doing in the lab enough that he felt he needed to interrupt me. So we talked and met each other on campus every now and then and exchanged phone numbers a week later. I had liked him and started to see him soon after that.

Victor and I had started our relationship. It was fun and lighthearted. He and I enjoyed getting to know each other. We were dating. Things were going well, or in my mind it seemed that way. It was on a fateful day, he was over at my place and I had been cleaning up. There were boxes of old documents and letters I had to sift through as well as getting rid of some of old clothes and shoes I no longer had any use. It was spring cleaning time. So I left him at my place and went to get something for us to eat. When I got back, he had read some old letters that were written to me by an old flame. He wasn’t impressed. He started questioning what this was all about and why I had felt it necessary to keep them. I looked at him and said, I haven’t read those letters in years, I was going to clean up and get rid of stuff. So at that moment he dropped it. But I knew it bothered him and stayed in the back of his mind.

The next little while he would bring up excerpts from those letters that he remembered and kept asking me if I really enjoyed my time with my ex, and he meant in a sexual manner. At this point in my life, I never really discussed my past sexual experiences with anyone but my close girlfriends, but this was my boyfriend using the sexual scorecard with me. He badgered me about who was better, himself or the ex. I didn’t answer that question. I really believed that you share something with someone and it shouldn’t be “compared” to another. Everyone has their own niches. Victor took it as I was trying to be polite and tell him he was inadequate to my ex.

He badgered me about my sexual past because of the men I had been with and the things I have done with them. He started to call me names and degrade my sexual choices. He started to get very possessive as to whom with I spent my time, and also as to why I spent my time with certain people. He didn’t like the fact my best friend was male. He thought that my best friend and I were having an affair behind his back. It got to the point that every man I came into contact with, he would question my motives and/or my relationship with them. It got to be too much. I did tell him one day, “If you don’t like me being friends with other guys it’s just too bad and you can leave!” That’s when it happened. He hit me for the first time. He open-handed me one across my left cheek.

As you can all imagine it gets worse than that in the next 12 months. I was put in the hospital twice. One time, my friend was the attending nurse in the ER. I also slowly started to become more introverted. I started not speaking to my friends, not doing things I used to love doing. I also started to over-eat to compensate for the depression I was feeling at the time. I became this angry person. Very angry person. I feared that every man out there thought the way he did, and felt that I would never find anyone better, so I stayed.

I stayed and I paid for it. To this day, I have lost between 45-60% of my hearing in my right ear, I have physical scars that won’t go away. Most of all, I suffered almost irreparable damage to my psyche. It took me ten years, jail time, professional help, great support from my friends and family and going through the biggest emotional roller coaster ride of my life to finally say, I am finally healed.

I urge everyone and anyone who is in a relationship like this, to seek help. Find a way to deal with the anguish it will cause you and your loved ones. Please do not, for all your sakes, stay in an abusive and damaging relationship. I did however, learn a lot from this relationship. I did learn the tell tale signs of these types of people. I did learn that I can overcome it, and that within me I have the strength do so. I believe everyone holds that strength from within. I believe, anyone can get out. There are many places to help people in such relationships, with the wonderful world of the internet, they are easier to find. I want to thank the people from the organization that has helped me. You gave me the first step to show I can leave, once you take that proverbial first step, you don’t have to look back.

Stay True to You!

Georgie English

georgie_english@myself.com

I thought about how we had to ‘start over’ after the breakdowns, we had to achieve some breakthroughs. I will say this, it was much easier said than done. It’s not everyday that you find unflattering things out about your partner or they of you. I’d like to think that there is more good in people than there is the negative and of course, the ones you love the most.

We’ll call him Sam. Sam and I dated on and off for many years and we were even engaged at points in our relationship. Sam and I had the “Perfect Relationship” if there ever was such a thing. We were in love, we were hot for each other, we had this amazing friendship, and most of all, we had intimacy. So where did we go wrong? Our naivete got the best of us as did our comfort levels. Sam and I at a very young age, have become the old married couple.

It all started when Sam went away to college and I still had one year of high school left. Sam was an up and coming football player in the US College ranks. He had the ability to make it to the NFL, had he not gotten injured, I am certain that was his destiny. I always thought that Sam only wanted me, and other women were forsaken. Emotionally, that there aren’t any truer words, the physicality of it all was the complete opposite. Although he was still my boyfriend, Sam had ‘extra curricular’ activities, meaning, he was starting to see other women with me not being present.

I eventually found out about these “extra curricular” activities. I was devastated. I was embarrassed and made a fool. Although I have come to terms it wasn’t my ‘fault’, I do accept that our circumstances at the time were ideal for such a downward spiral. My world with Sam was ‘perfect’. So perfect we had nowhere to go but down. Our ivory tower had fallen.

Sam and I only had been with only each other at that point in our lives. Sam, being a handsome and charming young man, had many female admirers and I should have known it was just a matter of time before he wanted to test the market. I found out through a woman he had been sleeping with in university about his philandering. I left for a while, involved myself with other men and took a different path of life. I eventually ended up with Sam again just a few years down the road.

This time, it was different. We were a few years older, a little more jaded, and a little more experienced. Also, this time around, we were parents. We had grown up from our “Fairy Tale” high school romance. We had become this live-in couple with rug rats and “His and hers” towels. We were in love, we were hot for each other, we had this amazing friendship, and most of all, we had found our intimacy again. Life was perfect…again. We had “started over” or so I thought.

I found myself not trusting Sam because of past experiences of his affairs with other women. I found myself getting suspicious all the time. I found myself keeping a score card on Sam. I also constantly wanted Sam to prove to me that he loved me. Always asking him to show me not just tell me. I demanded the names of the women he had been with prior to getting back together and if he had any interest in being with them in the present.

At first I had no reason to do so, but because I was not able to put his lies and infidelity to rest prior to getting back together with him. I took Sam back without being ready for a real, trusting, and loving relationship myself. Although he did lie and cheat again, I might have pushed him this time around with my anti-trust of his love. I had become his keeper not his lover. It doesn’t completely justify his rogue behaviour, but I believe I instigated this behaviour instead of diffusing the situation. I didn’t trust him enough to make that mistake himself, I didn’t trust me to love him like I once did.

After several attempts of being a couple, Sam and I called it quits. He and I couldn’t play the game anymore. He couldn’t play fairly and I was tired of always keeping score. We both learned we needed to stop what we were doing with each other to grow from our experience.

For all the people out there that play the infidelity card on a regular basis, for whatever your reasons,please remember, in the long run you’re not only hurting others around you and involved with you, but you’re damaging your ability to feel the rewards of monogamy. For those out there always keeping score because a love has done you wrong, keep the scorecard blank, and find a way to overcome the fears of wrong doings of your partner. No one can ever have “Fresh Start” but for those looking for ways to start over from a not so perfect relationship, you just have to trust your instincts and love each other. Love isn’t a game, it’s a reality…what you make of it, it’s up to you.
Stay true to you.

Georgie English

georgie_english@myself.com

I, Georgie English, would like to thank you all for visiting the blog site. I’ve had a record setting day due to new found curiosity. I appreciate it. In light of the influx of readers and sparked interests, I would like to tell you a little of what the site is all about.

This is the Life and Times of Georgie English. I write about experiences in love and life. Albeit directly or environmentally induced, it’s a blog of my opinions and my thoughts of issues in the aspects of love, hate, friendship, or any relationship that come my way.

I do not use real names, nor do I use real locations. I will never do such a thing. In fact, I will use all fictional names, all fictional locations, much like a movie, but it is derived from “true stories” that I encounter in my life one way or another.

If there are some readers out there that my stories and characters resemble, that’s just it, a resemblance. In no way shape or form am I directly linking anyone to a piece of my written work. I feel I do not need to censor my work, nor do I feel I need to censor my opinions for the weak at heart. If you don’t like my opinions, ask me about it, write me an email or make a comment. My blog is open for discussion. That’s why I post my email and I leave comments to be open.

I ask you all out there to comment, challenge, and intrigue me. I am open to opinions, and thoughts. Censorship went the way of fascism, just ask Adolf Hitler.  I write what I write, as a form of my expression coming from the perspective of how I, not anyone else,  view the topic. You don’t have to agree with my view, you don’t have to like it, and you can dislike me as much as you want… but you have the choice to close your browser and not read it. Either that or not visit my site, or tell me to “F$%& off” in an email, if that if you feel that strongly. Again, your choice, as it is mine to post what I feel and think in my blog.
Stay true to you.

Regards,

Georgie English

georgie_english@myself.com

To my Best Mate:

Words cannot express my feelings for you. Just knowing you are there when I need you is more than comforting. Through you, I find inner peace and my solace. You have taught me to look within for truth and freedom. You have taught me what love and friendship is about. It’s not vain, or complicated or selfish…it’s just real.

Love your Best Mate,

Georgie.
Let your best mate exactly how you feel about her/him because we’ll need them from time to time, just like I have over the years.
Georgie English

georgie_english@myself.com

========================================

Hello,

How are you? I hope you are doing better than you were a week ago, for I am. It has been a very hard two weeks for all of us involved hasn’t it? Heartbreaking, overwhelming and not to mention emotionally exhausting.

I hope you right your life and things work out accordingly. If you choose or if the paths have been chosen for you because of your past decisions, I hope and wish you only the best. I’m not vengeful, and I don’t hate people I cared about that much.I’m just hurt. It will pass and I will be whole again. It’s who I am and that’s how I am built. Maybe you can take a few things I have told you in the past and implement them in the way you think. You should do what Allan wants, not just want the world expects Allan to be. My only real expectation from Allan Day was for him to be true to himself, because the rest just falls into place from there.

All I ever wanted for you was to be truly happy…If that means to be with your wife, then so be it. If that means to find someone else…so be it. Just be happy and enjoy your life like it was intended. I’m going to love my new life. I am going to enjoy every moment of it, and one day I will be able to share it with someone else and be happy. I’m just sad for the moment because it’s not you. Although we don’t always get what we want, but we’ll often times find the things we need. What is wonderful about life, is you can find both somewhere. It doesn’t have to be one way or the other. I’ll get that sooner or later. I will. I know in my heart of hearts, there is something out there for me.

I’m telling you that I was in love with you. Or at least the person you presented my way. I still believe that much of what we shared was very real and those feelings could not have been faked. I refuse to believe you were that good of a liar. It’s an impossibility, because I see a good person, who did some bad things and hurt a lot of people especially two women he says he cares about.

You take life as it comes, but I’d rather make my life something instead of waiting for life to happen. Don’t think you’ve only brought negativity into my life. There are many positive things you brought to my attention. I can care about someone again. I allowed my heart to be risked up for heartache, but I wasn’t afraid. You brought that out of me. Although you temporarily tore it down, you in many ways restored my faith in men and my ability to find someone I care and not hold back. For that, I thank you, because I know I am not a robot and I will be able to do it again.

I love you Allan, I never wanted to tell you that again, but there is no point repressing the feelings that were there. If you ever need a friend, and I mean a real one, for whatever reasons you need one…I will always be there for you. Always. I will not judge, I will not badger, and I will not hurt you. I just want you to know I am in corner, as your friend…I can over look everything else…because your friendship was more important to me than all the bad this has resulted in.

Love,

Georgie

====================================

This was the most liberating email I have ever written. It was the first time in days and weeks my heart felt uplifted and ready to move on. Allan, as much of a dog as most people think he is…was the one the liberated all those feelings in me, that I thought were dead and buried. For that, I am indebted to him for the rest of my life.

Georgie English

In the movie, Jane (Judd’s character) was presented with three types of men. The maniacal womanizer in her roommate Eddie Alden, played by Hugh Jackman; the loyal and faithful husband in Steve, Jane’s brother in law; and then there is two tune Ray, played by Greg Kinear. As we all know, Steve, is the good guy and they type of guy we all hope to meet and fall in love with and marry. This is about which of the two remaining are the two of the lesser evils.

Well I have that in my life as well. I have an Eddie and a Ray. I am trying to figure out which one is the lesser of two evils. My friend, “David” is a constant womanizer. He loves the attention of many women and he goes out and seeks to see what he can get. His MO is casual sex and doesn’t make qualms about it. The frequency of his casual sex has me thinking his commitment fears are bigger than most. He makes no false pretenses about what he wants from the relationship with the women he engages. David pisses me off because he has so much to offer, but he chooses to lead his life this way for whatever reason. He’s such a great friend, but he doesn’t always live accordingly in many’s eyes.

Then there is Allan, who is more like Ray’s character. Torn between two women, or so he says. Loving them both, or so he says. Allan, my married man. Allan, the one who told me he cared about me while lying to me as he lay beside me. Allan pulls at the heart strings of the women in his life, and then pulls the rug up from under them. With whatever excuse and news he sent my way. Allan based my relationship with him upon a lie. A big lie. A lie that has cut so deep, there are days and hours I didn’t know if I can recover.

So what is worse? The pathological liar that tells you want you want to hear until the cows come home and then spring you (or someone else springs you) the news of a double life? Or the guy that you still sleep with after he tells you straight up that he is only into for sex. Can you befriend both? Can you hate both?

We all choose our paths…
They have clearly chosen theirs. I think it’s time we all chose ours.

Georgie English

georgie_english@myself.com